I’m back in another conversation with Brad Solomon. Today’s episode is more for the newer coach as we get into the mechanics of effective coaching. If you have a casual interest in coaching or are curious about what makes it it work you may find this episode interesting. And as is usually the case, Brad and I meander into other areas too.

This conversation is also on YouTube if you prefer to view it there. The visual will explain my reference to lots of books and the virtual background I was using. It was also a fun reference to a previous episode where I referred to reading less books.



Conversation Highlights

  • You don’t have to answer every question you are asked
    • Especially when there’s a trap or assumption baked into the question
    • Answer the question you want to
  • Problems with the question, “How does that make you feel?”
    • It feels like therapy
    • It has the implicit assumption that something has the power to make us feel a certain way (instead of having a choice)
  • Thoughts drive feelings, drive actions
  • Trying to listen and formulate a question at the same time just doesn’t work well
    • Listening with your body instead
  • When you are listening deeply it’s often possible to turn the last thing the person said into the next question
  • Over time and through experience you learn to trust your intuition and that in the moment the next thing to say will appear
    • Sometimes the next thing to say is, “I have no idea what to ask you next” and that is completely okay
  • Handling situations where the person you are coaching doesn’t know what to say or how to answer
  • Seeing your intuition like a dashboard light in your car
    • Awareness that the light is on vs. knowing exactly what it means
  • Keep your questions simple and ask one
  • “I’m not here to answer your questions. I’m here to question your answers.”
  • Experiencing the difference between mentoring and coaching
  • Navigating coaching moments that don’t seem to be going well
  • The job of the coach is to help people move forward–different than solving their problem
  • The power of asking permission to speak a “truth”


  • Hallon by Christian Bjoerklund
  • Cold Funk by Kevin MacLeod
  • Original photo source

All songs licensed under Creative Commons