One Conversation

Have you ever had this conversation with yourself?

“I give up.”

“It feels like a continuous grind and nothing’s ever going to change.”

In one moment you’re working so hard to make something happen and in the next you’re procrastinating because you can’t figure out what to do.

You hopelessly scroll social media and the news for something to make you feel better. You want a distraction from the heaviness, at least for a few minutes so you can find the motivation to hit things even harder to make up for the time you just wasted.

But you’re starting to see something. A pattern.

It’s not just one break, it’s a series of breaks. And the more breaks you take, the less you have to show for your time, and the harder you have to work to catch up.

But deep down you have this feeling that won’t go away. That there’s something more that your life has to offer, and that it’s possible for you to find out what that is.

Yet at the same time you’re deeply cynical. That you won’t be able to find it, so why be a fool and try. That your idea is just fairy dust, magic and unicorns.

You consume information with hopes of a revelation. You follow the “experts”, the people who seem to have “made it”, because they look like they’ve found the thing you want. You want their magic formula while wondering if there is one.

You read their books, you listen to their podcasts, and you attend their conferences. It’s a step up from scrolling social media but after the inspiration and excitement wears off you’re pretty much back to feeling like you did when you started.

And here you are, caught in the seesawing conflict between hope and despair.

I’ve lived this. In fact, it’s my story.

Several years ago I was stuck in a career bookended between society’s notion of a good job and inertia on the other—consuming information and waiting for something to change.

I was dragging myself through every day. I had become someone I promised myself in college I would never be—That guy working for the weekend, working just to get by.

I wasn’t doing anything about my situation. It was like a bucket under a leaky roof. Doing nothing about it didn’t seem to have any real consequence—until the ceiling caved in.

I was working in a situation that had to end. It was turning me more and more into a person I didn’t want to be—a frustrated and cynical person who was less and less fun to be around.

I needed to take action. More importantly, I needed to choose action from a stance of certainty.

And so I made a bold choice, a commitment that in six months I would be out of my unhealthy situation one way or another. Even if it meant quitting my job. I wrote the deadline on my wall and looked at it every day.

I’d never felt so committed to a decision. A decision where I didn’t know the ultimate outcome. I was 100% clear on what it wasn’t going to be and that was a good enough place to start.

A choice made from a stance of clarity and certainty creates a chain of events.

I don’t really understand how it happened, although I believe my level of commitment had something to do with it. Five months later (one month ahead of schedule) I was in a new situation that exceeded all my expectations. It paved the way to eventually leaving and running my own business.

Only in hindsight do I now see how this one committed choice started a series of events I never could have predicted, and exceeded what I thought was even possible.

Rather than suppress or ignore my feelings, I followed them. I used the tiny inklings I had to inform the actions and experiments I took. From that, new paths began to unfold.

These paths unfolded from choosing what was meaningful and interesting to me versus what other people thought I should be doing.

One path led deeper into the world of podcasting, creating them for myself and others. Another path opened up around coaching.

Both paths came from choices and actions in the direction of my interests and places I thought I could help.

As I pursued podcasting I also signed up for an intensive, world class coach training program through the Co-active Training Institute

Before long I wasn’t just interested in becoming a coach, I decided and chose to be one.

I was 100% in—that same commitment level I felt when I wrote the deadline on my wall.

I wasn’t concerned about the professional designation I might earn. Instead, all I wanted was to be the best coach I could be.

I figured after 15 days of classroom training, 26 weeks of certification practice and instruction, recorded supervision sessions, written and oral exams, meeting with my own coach 2 times a month, and 100 hours of paid client coaching sessions I’d be off to a solid start.

This wasn’t Powerpoint presentations and “tips & tricks.” It was rigorous, challenging to my core—and transformative. An idea I was initially very skeptical of.

I changed as a result of this program and I became convinced I could help others do the same.

Like Greg, who prior to working together, described himself as a “‘go with the flow” type of person.

In our safe and judgement free environment, Greg got clear about what he really wanted to accomplish.

Our time together challenged him to reassess his normal patterns of thinking while pushing him just far enough outside of his comfort zone to make consistent progress.

As a result he became more assertive, found more time for himself, and is getting clearer about what he really wants.

And Angela, who described herself as drifting aimlessly in moving forward with the dreams for her business.

Working together, she faced her self-sabotaging mind-set. Catching herself ruminating in the same patterns of thought blocking her from growing her business.

She dislodged long held beliefs and transformed them into creative options. A transformation she says has infused every part of her life.

We don’t always get that knowing what to do and implementing what you know are two entirely different things —Dusan Djukich

My current coach helps me with this by creating a safe space and asking questions that challenge me to see “reality” and what I don’t know, differently.

When I see reality differently the next steps reveal themselves. This may sound a little woo woo, but I’ve experienced it repeatedly.

I’ve realized that the “transformation” I was so skeptical of actually happened. It continues to happen, over time through choosing and taking action.

I can help you see your reality differently to reveal your next steps too.

How many thought provoking books and articles have you read in the last 12 months? How many new podcasts have you listened to? How many inspiring YouTube videos have you watched? How many things have you bookmarked as something you’ll really dive into when you have time?

Except the list keeps getting longer instead of shorter and you’ve done more thinking instead of acting.

Things didn’t really start changing for me until I made the choice to take action. And so I’d like to offer you the choice to do the same.

Have a 60 minute conversation with me to change your trajectory, give you hope, and create an inkling of what’s possible for you

I promise, from this one conversation, you’ll leave with more clarity about one thing in your life, giving you new choices and actions to take.

If you don’t feel that way at the end of our conversation, I’ll recommend someone or something else to help you on your path.

That’s all I’m offering. One conversation.

Email me at oneconversation@johnpoelstra.com and tell me you’d like to have that.

Nobody regrets changing earlier, they only regret not starting earlier.

All the best,
John