I’m borrowing the term You-Gun from Paul Spindel. In one of his fantastic project management courses at Portland State University several years ago he talked about the you-gun. He encouraged us to “put away the you-gun” in difficult conversations. It’s term and idea that has always stuck with me.
The next time you have an argument or disagreement with someone try not to use the word “you” in reference to what the other person has allegedly done to you. Instead talk about how you feel and what you need.
I know it sounds woo-woo… I guarantee it is much harder than it sounds and yet if you pull it off the results will be better than expected.