--- title: "I Don’t Want to Care What You Do" id: "4595" type: "post" slug: "what-you-do" published_at: "2014-09-17T14:41:14+00:00" modified_at: "2022-06-23T03:10:39+00:00" url: "https://johnpoelstra.com/what-you-do/" markdown_url: "https://johnpoelstra.com/what-you-do.md" excerpt: "I’m not sure where I heard about Everything That Remains: A memoir by the minimalists by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. I don’t even recall requesting it at the library, but one day they told me my request had......" taxonomy_category: - "Productivity" taxonomy_post_tag: - "Everything That Remains" --- [Skip to the content](#site-content) [John Poelstra](https://johnpoelstra.com) ### Bringing order to chaos and clarity to confusion - [One Conversation](https://johnpoelstra.com/) - [Podcast](https://johnpoelstra.com/category/podcast/) - [Coaching for Directors](https://johnpoelstra.com/coach/) - [About](https://johnpoelstra.com/about/) Toggle search field - [One Conversation](https://johnpoelstra.com/) - [Podcast](https://johnpoelstra.com/category/podcast/) - [Coaching for Directors](https://johnpoelstra.com/coach/) - [About](https://johnpoelstra.com/about/) # [I Don’t Want to Care What You Do](https://johnpoelstra.com/what-you-do/) [http://www.amazon.com/Everything-That-Remains-Memoir-Minimalists/dp/1938793188/](http://www.amazon.com/Everything-That-Remains-Memoir-Minimalists/dp/1938793188/) I’m not sure where I heard about [Everything That Remains: A memoir by the minimalists](http://www.amazon.com/Everything-That-Remains-Memoir-Minimalists/dp/1938793188/) by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. I don’t even recall requesting it at the library, but one day they told me my request had come in so I picked it up. It’s well written and insightful. From page 63, > But let’s think about the question for a moment: *What do you do?* In reality, it’s such a broad inquiry that *any* answer would suffice. What do I do? I do a lot of things: I drink water. I eat food. I write words sloppily onto little yellow legal pads. Once you scrape away its cheap gold-plating, however, we find a series of noxious inquisitions lurking beneath the surface. Sadly, what we’re actually asking when we posit this question, albeit unknowingly, is: *How do you earn a paycheck? How much money do you make? What is your socioeconomic status? And based on that status, where do I fall on the socioeconomic ladder compared to you? Am I a rung above you? Below you? How should I judge you? Are you even worth my time?* I was just thinking about this. A few weeks ago we were camping and met another family who had a boy our son’s age. The boys hit it off immediately and played together from dusk to dawn. At one one point I asked the parents in some round about way what they did when they weren’t camping. Something about the way I asked the question garnered a non-response and the conversation moved on. I realized as I spent more time talking to them and even after we parted ways that I had no idea what they “did to earn money.” I had learned a lot about how they loved the outdoors and the amazing trips they’d been on, but I didn’t really know how they earned money. As I kept thinking about how strange this was, not to have ever found out what they “did to earn a living” it dawned on me how little it really mattered. In some ways not knowing made it easier to accept and know them as simply who they were. Interesting now to read this quote which perhaps illuminated why. I also had a crazy thought of wondering, if our paths were to cross again, how long we could go without discovering what any of us did to earn money. As Millburn points out, just because someone earns money in a certain way does not mean everything about them, nor does that job that pays money act as a full representation of them. #### John Poelstra John Poelstra coaches directors in finance and software. Trained through the Co-Active Training Institute, he has coached for more than 10 years, with over 520 clients and 3,150 sessions, including people at well-known Fortune 100 companies. In over 30 years of professional experience, he spent 25 in technology and finance: software testing, project management and team leadership at Red Hat and Dell/EMC, and finance as a bank auditor at Wells Fargo and a CPA at Grant Thornton. He hosts The John Poelstra Show podcast and is based in Portland, Oregon. [Author archive](https://johnpoelstra.com/author/john-poelstra/) [Author website](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-john-poelstra-show/id1130635146) September 17, 2014 [Productivity](https://johnpoelstra.com/category/productivity/) [Everything That Remains](https://johnpoelstra.com/tag/everything-that-remains/) [Previous post](https://johnpoelstra.com/change-deadline/) [Next post](https://johnpoelstra.com/up-to-you/) ## 3 Comments ## [Add yours](#respond) 1. Laura[December 28, 2017 at 1:12 pm](https://johnpoelstra.com/what-you-do/#comment-339620) [Reply](#comment-339620) Hi John – I really like this idea – how do you fit it with the concept of networking? On one hand it feels very humanizing, but on the other, seems like it could impede coming across opportunities professionally? Laura [Reply](#comment-339620) - John Poelstra[January 15, 2018 at 7:28 am](https://johnpoelstra.com/what-you-do/#comment-339842) [Reply](#comment-339842) Laura, thanks for the comment. I’m pondering your question and will likely do a podcast on it. [Reply](#comment-339842) - John Poelstra[February 3, 2018 at 6:37 pm](https://johnpoelstra.com/what-you-do/#comment-340073) [Reply](#comment-340073) And here is that podcast! [https://johnpoelstra.com/humane-networking-040/](https://johnpoelstra.com/humane-networking-040/) [Reply](#comment-340073) ### 4 Pingbacks 1. [How to Make Networking Humane (040) - John Poelstra](https://johnpoelstra.com/humane-networking-040/) 2. [Uncertainty and Security - John Poelstra](http://johnpoelstra.com/security/) 3. [Priorities - John Poelstra](http://johnpoelstra.com/priorities/) 4. 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