Category Archives: I Like It

Many years ago, as an internal auditor, I saw this quote pinned to the cube wall of a sprawling loan processing center in Beaverton, Oregon.

We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing.

At the time I thought it perfectly reflected what was being expected of the employees there.  It seemed then, and still is a sad reflection of the employee/employer dynamic in some companies.  I saw this quote on Johnathan Fields’ blog and learned that it was attributed to Mother Teresa.

Does anyone know the context that Mother Teresa was saying this in?

I’m not a huge twitter user, though I have found it to be an interesting and useful medium.  I don’t automatically follow everyone that follows me and in general I don’t follow back if:

1. You’ve never tweeted anything or you haven’t tweeted anything in the last 6 months.
2. You have very few followers.
3. You use a robo-tweeter that appears to auto-post quotes and other random stuff multiple times a day, usually every hour, every single day of the week.
4. Your tweet stream is mostly about you, promoting your product or referencing your latest blog post.
5. You mostly tweet about things about your industry that I don’t follow or am not interested in.
6. Your tweet stream contains no re-tweets or interesting links to other people’s content.
7. Your tweet stream feels like a one-way conversation.
8. Your twitter stream is mostly shout-outs and multiple tweets to everyone you know or that has recently mentioned your name.
9. You don’t have a picture
10. Your profile summary is empty

Of course, these are not hard and fast rules for me and isn’t to say that if you are doing these things you are doing it wrong.

Image by Alexander Stielauvia flickr used under a Creative Commons license.

I was at Logan International in Boston last week with several hours to kill before meeting up with my ride.  After pursuing Massport’s listing of things to do I came across the 9/11 Memorial–a memorial to all of the people who were on the two flights that departed from Logan that day.

It was a challenge to find the memorial, and several times I almost gave up on my quest to find it.  Once I’d finally made it there I was glad I had.  Nobody else was there.  I sat in silence, reading each name and letting each one wash over me–real names of real people with no idea of what was in store for them that day.  Trying to fathom what it would have been like to be involved in the events of that day.  Trying to fathom what it would be like to have lost one of those people.  Trying to make sense of horror.

Like most people I remember exactly where I was that day.  I was sitting in a class at EMC in Hopkinton, Massachusetts, learning to configure a Symmetrix.  Someone came to the class after the first break and said a plane had crashed into a tower in New York.  Thirty minutes later the reality of what had happened sunk in and class was canceled for the rest of the day.  I drove a mile to where a friend (now my wife) worked to see if anyone there knew any more.  We spent the rest of the day running errands and trying to make sense of what had happened–mostly numb.

Now I live on the opposite coast, thousands of miles away, living a completely different life, intrigued and thankful that the memorial stirred up so many different emotions and memories of the past.

Detailed Directions

Here are hopefully much better directions to the memorial than I was able to find:

1) Go to Terminal A (if you aren’t there already)–get on a free Blue & White airport shuttle that goes between the terminals.

2) Go to the baggage claim/ground transportation area.  With your back to the baggage carousels, walk to the far left and take the elevator or escalator to the top floor (labelled “parking garage” in the elevator). Follow the signs to the parking garage and Hilton.

3) After crossing over the freeway via the sky bridge you’ll arrive at the parking garage, elevators and stairs.

4) Go down one floor to Level 2 and follow the directions to a second sky bridge to the Hilton hotel.

5) Follow the skybridge to the inside of the Hilton.  Once inside, walk past the ball rooms and take the escalator to the ground floor.  It’s a pretty big and swanky place.  If you get lost, ask someone the way to the registration desk.

6) Upon reaching the registration desk, exit out through the front doors and head out towards the street.

7) The memorial is square glass and metal structure (in view) across the street.

Given the space premiums at Logan it is amazing they found a place for the memorial at all.  So I understand why it might be a little out of the way and yet I wonder if part of the design could have been to make it easier to get to.  On the other hand that would probably have made it more expensive too.

If you have some time I recommend visiting to pay your respects, thinking about where you were on that day, and what has happened to you since.

Below is a thought provoking Ted Talk by Brene Brown called The Power of Vulnerability.  Brene talks with a sparkle in her eye and exudes a contagious enthusiasm as she explores this difficult subject.  I find vulnerability really easy to understand in theory and much harder to practice in reality.

Here are some notes and quotes that hit me as I listened:

• Shame–the fear of disconnection; is there something about me that if other people know it or see it I won’t be worthy of connection?
• Shame is universal… “we all have it. The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection.  No one wants to talk about it and the less you talk about it, the more you have it.”
• We have to allow ourselves to be really seen to have connection.
• People with a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worth a strong sense of loving and belonging.
• Vulnerability requires the courage to be imperfect.
• We can’t treat others with compassion if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
• We have to let go of who we think we should be for who we are.
• We like to make the uncertain, certain.
• Blame is a way to discharge pain and discomfort.

One of my 2011 goals is walking several mornings each week before work.  Most mornings I head out between 5:30 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.  The world is incredibly peaceful at this time and I love the stillness and being in the midst of it.

It has been a learning process knowing how to prepare for the weather and what it takes to get noticed by people on the road.  I feel silly in the reflective vest, but it only took one morning of not wearing it to realize how hard it was for cars to see me–even with a headlamp and walking against traffic.  The same style vest is also worn by the garbage service people in in our neighbourhood.

The other morning I got back from my walk and pulled out the trash cans for trash day before going into the house.  My wife commented later that she’d looked out the window and wondered who the “good looking garbage man” was, only to realize it was me putting the cans out!  We had a good laugh about it.

A few days later I told my wife about this post and the reason for taking my picture so early in the morning.  According to her, what really happened is that she looked out window and thought to herself, “what a nice garbage man, he’s putting our cans out on the street.”  Naturally I prefer the version of the story as I originally recalled it.

This raised an interesting thought for me… how often do I carry thoughts and understandings away from conversations that add more than is there?  Apparently in this situation I took her comment and expanded it in my mind to encompass more than she’d said…. or maybe I was just “playing old tapes” in a good way from previous compliments she’s given me in the past.

I liked the quote below from a book called The Noticer by Andy Andrews (affiliate link).  I copied it into my journal several months back and came across it while searching for the highs and lows of 2010–a journal is good for that.  This is a dialog between Jones and Willow. Willow believes she is too old to make a difference or do anything. Jones says,

If you are breathing you are still alive.  If you are alive, then you are still here, physically, on this planet.  If you are still here, then you have not completed what you were put on Earth to do.  If you have not completed what you were put on earth to do… that means your very purpose has not yet been fulfilled.  If your purpose has not yet been fulfilled, then the most important part of your life has not yet been lived…

I like the hopeful, future-based tone of these thoughts. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about this topic, but sometimes I do pause to reflect and wonder what the point is.  Not the “what is the meaning of life thing,” but more the “What am I best at and what am I meant to do while I’m here?”  So far I have established that I’m supposed to be here and I like the way that ties into the quote.

“The Noticer” by Andy Andrews, is a good book.  I wouldn’t call it great.  It contains some poignant, articulate, and thought provoking sections about living a great life.  Overall the story felt a little cheesy and unrealistic–where everything works out too perfectly in the end.

Image by nitot via flickr used under a Creative Commons license.

I recently started reading an interesting, fairly dense book called How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving (affiliate link) by David Richo.  By dense, I mean it isn’t a book to be read quickly because almost every paragraph has something thought provoking or important to say.

In the introduction Richo’s contends that:

Love is experienced differently by each of us, but for most of us five aspects of love stand out.  We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes.

I had a funny thought as to what it might look like to practice one of the exercises in the book (page 46) on a sometimes hostile open source project mailing list, using someone you don’t particularly like or get along with as the target.  Say these statements as you think about that person:

• I am paying close attention to you now.
• I accept you as you are in this moment.
• I allow you to be yourself.
• I appreciate you for what you have been and are.
• I have real affection for you, no matter what.

Okay, maybe a project mailing isn’t exactly the right place to find and feel love, however it might change the way we treat each other in a positive way.  Would that really be a bad thing?

Better yet, try these statements with someone you are in relationship with.  If it is too hard to say them out loud, start by thinking them in your heart.  See if something doesn’t shift inside of you by focusing on them.

Image by NiteLynx via flickr used under a Creative Commons license.